Ali’s Fair in Love and War

I was not a fan of Ali Fedotowsky when she appeared on The Bachelor. I thought she was a mean girl and while I was not particularly fond of Vienna, I found Ali’s behavior towards her really unflattering and borderline cruel. So why am I watching The Bachelorette, you ask? Because it’s on. Because I always watch this drivel. Because I have no willpower. Because.

As a Bachelorette, I find Ali to be stiff. Her fake laugh is already irritating me and the coy way she covers her mouth is, well, not all that coy. It is me or is she in a permanent state of shrug? I guess it was cold during last night’s episode because everyone offered her their jacket, but when she wasn’t wearing a man’s suit coat, her shoulders seemed all hunched up. Maybe I will grow to like her more, but so far I really don’t care how this ends up for her. I am watching purely for the eye candy and the drama.

That being said, the first episode of The Bachelorette did not disappoint. I already have two favorites: Roberto, or Robert – O as he said he could be called, and Chris L. Roberto is just hot. And Chris? Well who doesn’t love a landscaper from the Cape who moved home to be with his mom in her last year of life?

The duds, however, they are aplenty. There seems to be a plethora of over exuberance this season as well as some really bad 80′s hair. The weatherman, the back flipper and the jack-in-the-limo were all a little over the top for my tastes. And that nice fellow who made Ali a scrapbook, he can’t possibly make it past next week, right? What does it say about those who didn’t make the cut this week when the scrapbooker got a rose and they didn’t. For at least one of them it said that you are an ambulance chaser who wears his pants way too high and his hair way too long. Yeah, you didn’t “bring it”, but I am not sure you had “it” to bring.

The highlight though – the best of – the panties in the pocket of The Bachelorette series has got to be Shooter. Who in their right mind would think that a nickname based on a sexual disfunction would be endearing? Hey, so this one time in college? “Did I mention that they also called me Noodle and Stumpy and that I basically just suck in bed?” And the poor guy was all bummed when he got the axe, really? Really? Oh, and not only did he expose his secret to the Bachelorette but that was on national television – so good luck with that whole dating thing when he gets home. I am sure none of the girls in his home town watched. He’ll be fine.

This season promises to be full of drama with tears, secret girlfriends and an ambulance, if the teasers are to be believed. I’m in. Let’s face it – you had me at Canadian Entertainment Wrestler.