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A weighty issue to consider

September 8th, 2010 · No Comments · Animals on my planet

You know how a little extra weight can creep up on you? One day all your favorite clothes fit well and then without any significant dietary change they begin to feel snug. Its not until you actually step on the scale that you realize that you have put on ten pounds with no effort at all. Yeah, well how about if you are only 3 feet tall?

It is one thing when I fail to maintain my own weight through diet and exercise. At 5’ 10”, I can carry an extra ten pounds with little more than a strained waistline (and an occasional flying button). Goose, on the other hand, is officially fat. Since his last visit to the vet he has gained 9 pounds. He is 61 pounds. I can’t feel his ribs. His fur coat is looking a little tight. I don’t know how this happened. He doesn’t get all sorts of treats, just a cookie here and a bit of lamb trachea (larynx?) there.  We only feed him one cup of dry food twice a day. I am beside myself. I have a child that could be considered obese. Do dogs have a BMI?

So, now what? I have to reduce his food by one third. Great, that won’t feel like deprivation. I suppose more exercise is in order too. I have seen doggie treadmills in the catalogs that clog my mailbox. What do you think it would take to get Bob Harper to go all “Biggest Doggie Loser” on Goose’s ass? Does Jenny Craig have a canine program, because damn that Sarah Rue looks awesome? My husband, Bob, even had me ask the vet if it could be a thyroid disorder (too much Oprah?). It wasn’t.

We have to guard Goose’s feelings. I don’t want to do anything that might damage his self-esteem or cause an eating disorder. What might that look like? Milk bone wrappers hidden in the couch and Beggin’ Strips boxes strewn about. And the purging, well I can’t begin to imagine. Lets not even get into the cost of therapy.

I have never had a chubby pooch before.

Larry was tall and skinny.

Mike is svelte and athletic.

In their old age our Golden Retrievers, Casey and Lucas, had some weight issues, but Goose is not even two.

Somehow Goose has moved into the portly zone without our notice – it happens, right? No need to panic and start inquiring about doggie gastric bypass yet. We’ll just begin the eat less, move more program and by we, I mean both Goose and I. Who knows, maybe in my efforts to whip him back into shape I’ll find inspiration. I can still feel my ribs, but my equivalent of his”fur coat” is a little tight these days too.

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