DIANA REPUBLIC

I watched with anxiety as the examination began. It really didn’t look promising. My hands began to sweat. There was definitely something wrong, but I knew that. It was the reason that I had called this man. I knew my DVR was sick: I just didn’t know how bad it was.

Like most examinations, there was a certain level of humiliation. As the Comast repair man scrolled throught the programs saved to my DVR, I cringed. I don’t know if he judged me, for all I know this is what he see everywhere he goes. The Young and the Restless, Real Housewives of you name it, half a season’s worth of ER to name a few and two baseball shows because I don’t actually live alone. In order to diagnose the problem he had to try and play each show thus adding to my shame as Ramona’s crazed face appeared on the screen or some poorly acted soap scene was displayed. And in the end he suggested that it be replaced. My DVR needed to be put down. Sob.

“How long will that take?” I asked.

The Comcast repair man hesitated.

“How long do I have to watch all those taped shows?” I asked throwing all dignity to the wind.

“I have another box in the truck. It will take about fifteen minutes to hook it up.” he explained, now amused.

“And I will lose all those shows?” I asked knowing the answer.

“Maybe some are On Demand.” he kindly offered.

I could have kept the ailing DVR, but that wouldn’t have been fair. It still mostly worked and I could have waited for nature to takes its course. But then there would have been more malfunctions and additional loss of recordings and I would eventually end up back in this place.

“Go ahead” I told the Comcast man with my chin quivering.

Fifteen minutes later I watched as the Comcast repair man left my house with my beloved DVR and its hours of bad television. I did not cry. There will be more Housewives, more soaps and, god knows, more reality television in my future. ER may be gone forever (in first run) but Netflicks or Hulu can probably fill that void.

There is a lesson here. Tomorrow is never promised to any of us. Nothing is forever. If the loss of my DVR taught me anything it is “watch what you have when you have it”. You just never know when technology will fail you and you will have to watch half a season of ER in fifteen minutes. Or was the lesson “get a life”? I can’t remember, my brain is mush from all the television.