DIANA REPUBLIC

There is a reason God made puppies so cute: no one would care for them if they weren’t. It has been four years since we had a puppy in the house. It is not as if I had completely forgotten the downsides of raising the little fur balls. It ‘s just that I may have glossed over some of the less pleasant parts of the process.

We have been lucky so far with Goose; he has slept through the night all but a couple nights since we brought him home. Under our watchful (or hypervigilant) eyes there have been very few bathroom related accidents. It is the teeth. I had completely blocked out the razor sharp little puppy teeth and the pain they can inflict.

We have chew toys galore. I have a hand puppet that is “chew” friendly. There are Kongs and Nylabone and ropes and yet, my hands and ears and wrists are Goose’s favorite victims. Pinching Jesus, it hurts. He has drawn blood a couple times.  He lulls me into a false sense of security with the licking and the snuggling and WHAM: paring knives to the ear lobe. He can be happily gnawing on an approved chew toy when for no reason his head swirls aroung to latch on to my knuckle.

In the meantime, I am pretty sure that I have a second earing hole now in my right ear. I can either let it close up or start wearing a stud. And I am sure no one will mistake the marks on my wrists as hesitation marks, they look more like a rash.

This too shall pass as the saying goes. It is just a matter of time before Goose’s little spikes are replaced with normal dog teeth. With any luck by then the urge to bite everything in his wake will have mostly passed as well. And honestly, when he curls up on my chest as I watch TV, I forgive every last bite.

No one's appendages are safe