DIANA REPUBLIC

I don’t have penis envy, but watching The Bachelor makes me want to change teams. Watching the way these women behave makes me embarrassed to be part of their club. When asked how he approached his experience on The Bachelorette, the current bachelor Jason said that he wanted to have as much fun as he could.  That is the difference between how men and women approach this show.  These girls are not here for a good time – they are on a mission.

The dental hygienist Shannon, who may have brought her own supply of nitrous oxide along, is actually hard-core. She may giggle incessantly and shower Jason with compliments usually reserved for a kitten, but she means business. She has done her stalking, I mean research.  Jason may find this flattering, but I find it and her disturbing on a lot of levels.

This whole deal has gotten way too competitive. I understand that the premise of the show is to win the bachelor’s heart, but seriously. These gals all act as if they need to place themselves in Jason’s direct line of vision at all times or they won’t get a rose. That doesn’t say much for any impression they may have made. The minute he is out of site with another woman, they all freak out.  The benign sounding “can I steal him for a minute?” sounds like the girls just want to tell Jason his fly is down or that he has a phone call, when in fact they are rudely interrupting a conversation. They should just say what they mean: “My turn.” It was refreshing to see that Stephanie had the good manners and sense to back off when she was encouraged to interrupt.

There was an episode of The Bachelorette when DeAnna had a meltdown because all the guys were horsing around and not paying enough attention to her.  That would never happen on The Bachelor.  Those guys seemed to be having a good time while trying to impress her.  These women, with a couple of exceptions, are just trying to impress Jason. The ones who are having a bit of fun are the ones that should impress him. Those are the ones that I’ll be rooting for.

As an aside: the highlight of Monday night’s show was watching Lauren work herself from jealous of Jillian’s date with Jason to relieved in six steps or less. If she’d been invited, she wouldn’t have had enough time to get ready.  In fact she would have been compelled to go with her hair curly which might as well be have been in a ponytail the thought of which made her thank god she wasn’t chosen. She was hilarious, if only she had intended to be.