DIANA REPUBLIC

As we gear up for another season of The Bachelor, I stop to wonder why we keep watching? Bob gripes at the beginning of each new run that the guy never gets married. He has a point. Heck, half the time they don’t even get engaged. That doesn’t deter us from enjoying the antics of a new group of champagne fueled women who are willing to make asses out of themselves for our amusement.  How can we resist the possibility of another woman shoving her underwear in the bachelor’s pocket or letting him know just how little time her biological clock has left on it? It is truly disturbing the lengths that these women will go to, climbing over one another and turning on each other to be with this guy (insert current Bachelor’s name here) as is the hyperventilating that occurs when he cuts them loose.

Last night’s episode didn’t disappoint.  The one bachelorette who was over-served, Jackie, was also conveniently the one who tried to work up a good cry when she didn’t get a rose. The bachelor, Jason Mesnick, might have dodged a bullet here.  She admitted, snickering, that she had left an engagement ring on one guy’s pillow after having accepted his proposal and was briefly married after that.  As an aside, Jackie may want to reconsider her profession as a wedding planner.  She could be a little too desperate and bitter to be constantly reminded of her single status.  Kind of like the alcoholic working as a bartender.

The single mother angle was big to compliment Jason’s single fatherhood.  Megan, who left her child of 14 months to pursue love, gave an ill-conceived speech about parenting.  Clearly trying to use her single mom status to her advantage, she explained in very colorful language how parents don’t want to leave their children with inexperienced care givers. She pissed everyone off so much that they attempted to vote her off, only to secure her a rose and her spot until next week. She showed her gratitude by calling her new friends a word that was bleeped out.  An authority on parenting and a delightful role model.

This season’s big twist is one that I take exception with.  They are bringing back DeAnna Pappas from previous seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.  How does she get another shot at this?  Look, we all felt sorry for her when Brad Womack passed her over.  We felt even sorrier for her when she chose the snowboarding slacker, Jesse instead of the sweet single dad, Jason. Really, that didn’t work out for you, DeAnna?  Tough. Move on. This isn’t MTV where you can participate in one reality show after another and completely avoid having a life (uh, Beth?). This is network TV and there are term limits.  Well if not, there should be. Try Match.com or eHarmony – your Bachelor/ette days should be over. Or if you must return, be prepared to drink too much and make a fool out of yourself, because that is why I am watching.